Encircling by Carl Frode Tiller

Author:Carl Frode Tiller [Carl Frode Tiller]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781908745309
Publisher: Sort Of Books
Published: 2015-07-30T16:00:00+00:00

Hospital, Namsos, July 4th 2006. Reconciling oneself

I open the door and step out into the corridor, look back and see Eilert and his daughter pulling apart. Eilert straightens the collar of his checked flannel shirt and says that it’ll be good to get home all right, and his daughter tells him they can’t wait to have him home. “Mum’s not the same when you’re not there,” she says. “She’s restless, she just wanders around the house and doesn’t know what to do with herself,” I hear her say before I close the door behind me. I stand for a moment looking round about. It’s quiet and pretty peaceful out here, there’s a porter up a stepladder, changing a flickering fluorescent tube and the chubby nurse from earlier on comes along wheeling an empty bed. She stops and waits for him to finish so she can trundle on. They look at one another, exchange a few words and I seize the chance to slip past. I’m not up to talking to anyone right now, just want to be alone. I make my way towards the lift, slowly, stiff-legged. I’ll take the lift down, go for a little stroll, sit down on one of the benches and enjoy the last of the sunset.

But then the door of one of the rooms opens and out comes Dr Claussen. He turns, says something to a patient in the room and I stop short, glance around for somewhere to hide, I’m not up to talking to Dr Claussen either, can’t take his fussing, he has his back to me, still talking, he hasn’t spotted me yet, so I nip round the corner and down a side corridor, going as fast as my feeble legs will carry me. I walk all the way to the end and stop, stand there: I’ll just have to wait till Dr Claussen has gone past. If he sees me I’ll simply say that I took a wrong turn, or maybe that I’m looking at that painting. On the wall in front of me there’s a large picture of a man and woman walking hand in hand along a beach, smiling and looking happy, looking blissful. All the pictures in the unit aim to exude an air of bliss, aim to present some sort of idyllic scenario. They’re probably supposed to make the unit seem more homey, but they have the exact opposite effect, on me at least, because when I look at this picture I see it for exactly what it is. I see it as an attempt to make me forget that I’m ill, an attempt to help me escape from what I cannot escape. Actually it reminds me of the titbit that the driver of the slaughterer’s truck gives the cattle to steady them as they’re herded into the truck. I remember this from when I was a little boy and used to visit my grandfather’s farm: the driver leaning on the rail of the short ramp leading

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